Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
