Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize