Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
pray to the hookup gods
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
