she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
