Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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