we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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