Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Well I just put wine in my tea
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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