if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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