I'm sorry my penis didn't work
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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