Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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