i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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