im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Need sex. Gaining weight.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I am available for nakedness
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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