So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
