Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
