Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my being single is dangerous.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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