No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Drake has all the answers
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
