Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
