Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i barfeds in our rink

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(718): View more from New York

he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs

(1-718): View more from New York

I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.

(718): View more from New York

the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?

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