using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
