My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
