Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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