Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
