omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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