That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
