So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize