So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
