why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
