OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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