So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I think my moral compass just broke
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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