and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Is it because I queefed?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize