I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
