he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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