I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Even my vagina gasped.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
