You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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