Don't make out with my wife yet
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Can I color on your dick again?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
