I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
