Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
