That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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