The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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