K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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