he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
