Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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