i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
