champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
