And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I will be naked everywhere
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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