I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I have tasted many bathrooms
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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