More tranny stories later!
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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