Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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