who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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