So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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