I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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