That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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