p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
