Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
