my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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