I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
