She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
it's like iHOP with fire
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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