Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
we're making bets on your personal life
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
