dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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