Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
