I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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