I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
NoShamevember. You game?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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