why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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