Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
