I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
