I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
