i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
