I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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