at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
