i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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