It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
