So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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