I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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