I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
