if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
