THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
