I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
