you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
