Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
