I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
There r osticjed everywhere
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
