Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
